Tall Poppy Syndrome: Why We Need to Rethink Success

Tall poppy syndrome

Have you heard of tall poppy syndrome? It was recently talked about on TV which led me to wonder why we even have this. Basically, it describes a cultural tendency, mainly in New Zealand and Australia, to criticise, mock or resent successful individuals who stand out from the crowd.

Its cousin, crab bucket mentality, describes those who pull down or hinder others from gaining success because of their own envy or insecurity.

In both cases, success seems to be something that shouldn’t be celebrated or encouraged.

How are we, as individuals, then supposed to reach for success when the very act of succeeding can make us a target?

Why Success Gets Diminished

In many cultures, staying small is seen as safe. We’re taught to be humble, blend in, and not draw too much attention to ourselves. Standing out often comes with criticism, jealousy, or subtle digs.

Sometimes this comes from insecurity: when someone else succeeds, it highlights where we may feel stuck or “behind.” Other times, it’s simply tradition—people are more comfortable when everyone stays on the same level.

But the cost is heavy. When success isn’t celebrated, people begin to shrink back. They self-sabotage, downplay their achievements, or never fully step into their potential for fear of being judged.

Benjamin Hardy, in his book Personality Isn’t Permanent, explains that our identity is shaped by the stories we tell ourselves. If we believe that success will isolate us, we unconsciously hold ourselves back.

What Happens When We Fear Success

• We avoid risks and opportunities that could help us grow.

• We apologise for our wins instead of celebrating them.

• We dim our light to make others feel comfortable.

Over time, this creates a cycle where no one feels safe to succeed, and whole communities miss out on the inspiration and progress that comes from individuals rising.

Shifting the Mentality

The good news? We can change this, both for ourselves and for those around us.

1. Reframe others’ opinions.

Mel Robbins, in her book Let Them, reminds us: people will talk, judge, or misunderstand. Let them. Their reaction isn’t your responsibility. Your job is to keep moving forward.

2. Redefine humility.

True humility isn’t pretending you’re small—it’s being proud of your growth while also lifting others up. Success doesn’t mean arrogance; it means showing what’s possible.

3. Celebrate the small wins.

Momentum builds through daily victories. Write down three things you’ve accomplished each day, no matter how small. These micro-celebrations train your brain to associate success with safety and pride, instead of fear.

4. Upgrade your identity.

As Hardy explains, your personality isn’t fixed. You can choose to see yourself as someone who succeeds, grows, and leads. Each choice you make today shapes who you become tomorrow.

Creating a Pro-Success Mindset

Here are some simple daily practices:

• Keep a success log or journal.

• Share your wins with someone who celebrates you.

• Visualize future goals as if they’re already yours.

• Notice when you’re tempted to downplay yourself—pause, and own the achievement instead.

The Ripple Effect

When you celebrate your own success, you give silent permission for others to do the same. Instead of tall poppy syndrome or crab bucket thinking, imagine communities where we cheer when someone rises—knowing their success expands what’s possible for everyone.

Final Thought

The next time you achieve something—big or small—don’t rush to minimise it. Don’t hide it away. Celebrate it.

And when others look, whisper, or criticise? Let them.

Because your success might just be the very spark someone else needs to grow tall, climb higher, and step out of the bucket.